When President Obama won the election in 2008, more than half of the voting public was elated. His family was elated. I was elated. Chris Mathews had a feeling running up his leg! Nearly everyone understood the historical significance of the win. It was a special time.

So you can imagine how unreservedly overjoyed President Obama must have felt… that is.. until he was informed by The Secret Service that he would have to give up his Blackberry PDA (personal digital assistant) FOR-EV-ER!

He’d taken a job, which he was unquestionably honored to have, but in return he essentially had to give up shooting text messages about sporting events to buddies, birthday wishes to dozens of people at a time, long running inside jokes between college buddies and old roommates, and keeping up with friends from all of the many circles he has traveled. He was president. Commander and Chief. He’ll be a public figure for the rest of his life. He had to give it up for security and political reasons.

I can’t help but feel that a part of me will have to die when I become a teacher. The part that likes telling, and hearing dirty jokes. The part that likes taking controversial positions about religion and politics. The part who is never afraid to be, as George Orwell’s 1984 society might title me, a little “Unorthodox.”

You have no idea of the magnitude of this.

You see, right now, I have Future Teacher Michael, but there is also Independent Michael J. That’s the Michael you know, the Michael you grew up with — Movie-pitch Mike, Coffee shop Mike, Liar Mike, Bawdy Mike.

I love that Mike.

And he’s Dying! If Prospective Teacher Mr. Williams walks through that door, he will Kill Independent Michael J! A Michael, divided against itself, Cannot Stand!

Yes, I just ripped off the whole George Castanza bit from Seinfeld. Yes, I used a 90’s reference. You probably got it! If I told that joke during every class period for a whole day, right now in 2009, I’d wager that maybe 2 students get that joke. MAYBE one of those students gives me a pity laugh because she/he is on that “A/B fence” that teachers and professors are always trying to scare/bribe us with at the beginning of each semester to make sure you feel motivated to participate during class.

I’m babbling, but the point is: Independent Mike can’t be friends with teenagers because they won’t get dated Seinfeld references for example, and I don’t want friends who don’t get dated 80’s/90’s references. Mr. Williams does though. He’s built his life around young people. Mr. Williams is up on the latest trends and he’s constantly trying to stay current so that he can connect with his students, because that’s his job. Independent Mike can’t even muster out a forced chuckle at an hour long Dane Cook special (who, by the way, is the worst comedian of our generation. Kids tell me he’s funny. Look, it has been a long day at work, this is a really snarky post and I’m babbling again and I’ve completely forgot how to use my backspace key, mysteriously, so I can not edit out this rambling. Maybe we should go over that as a topic in class. Look, there I am being snarky again.. and rambling… this is the post “about nothing.” Get it? Seinfeld reference).

So, like the President, I’ll have to give up some privacy for the sake of duty and honoring a worthy profession.

I do wish, however, that there were not so many big rules that prevent such small problems. I wish cell phone policies did not dominate so much space in student agendas at public schools. Is a text message or picture message really much worse than a note under the desk or harmful photos that can be passed around with ease. I rarely hear teachers have note passing policies posted on their doors anymore. I’m still waiting for someone to tell me how exchanging emails with a student has a greater capacity for scandal than inviting students to write letters and post-cards over the summer. I’m still waiting to hear how a facebook profile can do more personal damage to a teacher’s reputation than a night out on the town with old friends. I would argue that the same personal behaviors get caught (good and bad) through texts, emails, and social networking sites that get caught with technologies that are becoming used less frequently. The interest in stories about the negative effects of these mediums have increase, and the ability for technology to catch people abusing public trust has become simpler. But, those are the only discernible differences as far as I can tell.

The more technology “catches” unprofessional teachers, there exists a growing belief in the assumption that it is the use of the technology that has propelled this spike in unprofessional behavior amongst teachers, congressmen and other public officials. What an illogical assumption to make unless, of course, you’re a former hippie with a fear that new technology will enslave and drive humans to growing states of immorality(or a science fiction fan, which always believes new technology is set out to destroy the old ways of decency… like in “I Robot”, “Terminator”, “The Matrix” etc… I mean think of how many times in the history of science fiction has gunfire ever been a useful weapon against the enemy army of aliens or robots or future humans or future robots… Never. yup, I’m really being snarky tonight…and I’m babbling again… I know). The assumption that technology propels a growing state of immorality is baffling logic in the same way that 99 out of 100 science fiction films baffle me with tortured logic. It is the moral quality of the user that makes social networking a useful or harmful tool. It is the moral quality of a cell phone user that makes a text message or picture message a useful or harmful tool. I suppose, however, that the fear of “the heightened ability” to do wrong out ways the need for critical thinking about the possible benefits of encouraging students to use technology.

What is wrong with asking “What if?” What if students were encouraged to use their cell phones to text questions to the teacher at the front of the room, because they are too embarrassed to raise their hand, rather than wasting class time, and agenda space threatening students about having cell phones? What if students can find their teacher on facebook, learn their teachers first name, discover that they have a dog, a girlfriend, and what movies and books they like? What if teachers had students rewrite their “About Me” section on facebook or myspace as their first writing assignment? What if students had to publish something to their “notes” section on facebook or their “blogs” section on myspace? I’m just asking “what if?” I could do it all day. Really. Is it possible that we have an education system full of people afraid to ask “what if?” because it is too exhausting to take the minority position on technological issues? Is it possible that we have a system full of policy makers who never ask “what if” or are more concerned about negative headlines?

It is always easier to have a BIG RULE than to ask “what if?” Big rules are safe. Sometimes illogical. But they’re always BIG. People like big blanket rules.

So, Independent Mike may have to fade away a little or at least slip into less traceable territories. A small sacrifice, because social networking is so useful. Facebook offers an opportunity to connect with people, to see and be seen, to hear and be heard. That’s it! That’s all English classes are trying to accomplish to begin with! As an English teacher I want to help students understand and be understood! Facebook/Myspace/Twitter does all of those things. Mr. Williams could not be more excited about the fact that young people ARE ALREADY HIGHLY interested in doing this everyday when they go home. I’m giddy. I get to build on naturally motivated students who get to employ rhetorical skills that I will teach them via facebook and myspace, everyday! Hell, Independent Mike is even excited.